I feel like this.
And it’s not because I’m coasting or just checking the box. I’ve never been more energized about what I’m building. I’ve spent the last two years essentially starting over from scratch — learning an entirely new skillset, this time in AI — and pouring hours into figuring out how to make it work for me, my clients, and my business.
It’s been thrilling and exhausting all at once.
I’ve sacrificed weekends, sleep, mental space. I’ve made mistakes, learned from them, tried again. I’ve bet on myself over and over, even when it would have been easier to just keep doing what I knew how to do — video production, storytelling, the things that were comfortable.
And still, most days, I feel behind.
Not just a little behind — deeply behind. Like I’m running as fast as I can just to stay where I am.
Do you ever feel that too?
The Reality of Starting Over
Here’s the thing about starting from scratch: it’s humbling.
It’s like playing a game you’ve mastered for years, and suddenly you switch to a new one where you’re back at level one. You know how to grind, you know how to work hard, but now you’re wielding completely different tools, and the rules keep changing while you play.
That’s been my last two years.
I’ve been working with clients — managing brands, running campaigns, directing strategy — all while trying to build a new foundation for my own business. One of my clients is a master sculptor who built a legendary career in bronze, and now in his seventies, he’s starting over in a completely new medium: epoxy resin.
Using AI to show various Eichinger metal art prints in different environments.
There’s a strange kind of poetry in that. He and I are both pivoting — him from bronze to resin, me from video to AI. And just like resin hasn’t always been seen as “fine art,” AI is still seen by many as a novelty or a threat instead of a serious tool. Part of my job is telling the story that makes it feel approachable, valuable, worth paying attention to.
But while I’m telling that story for my client, I’m living it for myself.
The Grind Behind the Scenes
From the outside, running your own business looks like freedom. From the inside, it’s a lot of spinning plates.
I’m finding clients, paying taxes, doing sales calls, writing messaging, creating graphics, building websites, posting content, and yes — doing the actual client work. I’m essentially filling the role of an entire marketing department by myself.
Except I don’t have a team.
My “team” is a patchwork of apps, automations, and AI tools that I’ve cobbled together into something that works most days — and breaks on the others. I’m not just directing a group of people; I’m orchestrating processes and programs.
And even when I get it right, I can’t shake that feeling of running out of time. There’s always another tool to learn, another update to catch up on, another headline that makes you feel like you’re already behind. AI doesn’t sit still — it’s evolving weekly.
Some days, it feels like I’m playing a video game I’ve been grinding at for years, only every time I level up, they release an expansion pack. The goalposts move. The horizon stretches out again. And I wonder if I’ll ever catch up — or if that’s even the point.
Do you know that feeling?
Living in the Tension
Part of me loves it.
I love learning, building, exploring what’s possible with these new tools. I love the idea that I get to be one of the early explorers — someone who can figure out how this technology works and then turn around and help others do the same.
But another part of me is tired.
Tired of feeling like every day is a race against the clock. Tired of never feeling “caught up.” Tired of sacrificing nights and weekends and still wondering if I’m doing enough.
If you’re feeling that way too, I just want to say: you’re not alone.
Why AI Matters to Me
This is where AI comes in for me.
Not as a way to escape the work — I don’t want that. I like the work. I chose this path. What I want is for AI to give me back time for the work that matters most.
I want it to take the pressure off my shoulders, even just a little.
I want it to clear the drudgery — the repetitive tasks, the bottlenecks, the friction that eats up hours but doesn’t move the needle. I want it to help me focus on my highest contribution: creating, teaching, helping others accelerate their own learning curve.
Because here’s the thing: AI isn’t going to chase your goals for you. It’s not going to tell you what matters. But when you know what matters, AI can help you get there faster.
Maybe This Feeling Never Goes Away
The truth is, maybe feeling behind never really ends.
Maybe that’s just what it means to be committed to something bigger than yourself. To care so much about the work you do that you always see more that could be done.
But I’ve started to think that “behind” isn’t a place you are — it’s a signpost. It’s a reminder that you’re still moving, still learning, still stretching yourself.
And maybe the goal isn’t to catch up, but to keep going.
A Quiet Invitation
If you’re reading this and nodding along — if you’re tired and hopeful at the same time, if you feel like you’ve been grinding for years only to find the game keeps expanding — I see you.
You’re not falling behind. You’re in the thick of it.
And if AI, or any tool, can buy you even an hour back — an hour to think, to create, to breathe — maybe that’s enough to keep you in the game a little longer.
I’m still figuring this out too. But I believe that using these tools well can help us find a better rhythm — one where we’re not just running to keep up, but running toward something that actually matters.